Mental Health and Rest for Parents of Children with Disabilities

Imagine an astronaut embarking on a long mission to Saturn. He carefully prepares, trains, studies every detail of the spacecraft, and learns the specifics of the distant planet. Every day, every hour, his thoughts and energy are focused on the mission to accomplish everything perfectly. But what would happen if he forgot to take oxygen tanks? Without them, even the most well-prepared astronaut wouldn’t be able to complete his mission.  
This metaphor perfectly illustrates the importance of maintaining mental health and rest for individuals.  

Parents of children with disabilities embark on their own special "space mission" every day. They learn diagnoses, procedures, therapies, and become experts in caring for their children. But often, in this whirlwind of responsibilities, they forget about their own "oxygen tanks"—mental health and rest—without which they cannot continue this crucial mission of love and care, while maintaining their own psychological and emotional well-being.  

What are the key factors that disrupt mental health?  

- Increased stress: Parents often face additional challenges in caring for their child, unexpected emergencies, and constant pressure from their child’s medical, psycho-emotional, educational, or social needs.  
- Emotional burden: Stemming from constant stress, parents often experience difficult emotions such as sadness, anxiety, guilt, and anger. They may also feel emotionally drained from constantly thinking, “No one else can do this but me.”  
- Social isolation: Many parents feel cut off from friends and relatives who don’t understand their situation. They may not have enough free time for social connections due to caregiving responsibilities, leading to the loss of social bonds and support networks.  
- Financial pressure: They are constantly concerned about additional expenses related to treatment, rehabilitation, the purchase of necessary specialized equipment, and special nutrition, all of which place an extra burden on their mental health.  
- Sleep problems: Their sleep schedules are often disrupted by the need to care for their child at night or by the inability to sleep due to psycho-emotional stress and overthinking.  
- Marital relationships: Tension and misunderstandings may arise between spouses due to stress, differing views on caregiving, or the refusal to share family responsibilities proportionately.  
- Guilt: They may constantly blame themselves for their child’s illness and feel guilty for “not doing enough,” or have thoughts like “I’m a bad mother.”  
- Chronic fatigue, low mood, physical and emotional exhaustion.  

If these points describe your condition, or if you experience some of these factors for a prolonged period and they significantly affect your life, it’s important to pay special attention to your health and take steps to improve it.  

Many renowned psychologists, such as Aaron Beck, Abraham Maslow, and Viktor Frankl, have researched mental health preservation and developed methods to regulate and restore it. They viewed mental health as a complex ecosystem, where every element (thoughts, emotions, behaviors) is interconnected and affects the others. The balance between these elements is vital for overall well-being. External influences (stress, trauma) can disrupt this balance, but the system has the ability to restore itself with proper care.  

So, how can parents of children with disabilities restore themselves? What are the methods and techniques? After analyzing a large volume of information, we have selected useful and effective recommendations. By following them, you will surely see positive results.  

1. Don’t neglect self-care. Regular rest is critically important for maintaining your own health. Self-care is not selfish—it’s essential for preserving yourself and continuing to effectively care for your child. Seek help from professionals (psychologists, social workers, personal assistants, or nannies) when needed, accept support from loved ones, don’t take on everything alone, and use all available and accessible resources and services.  

Organize rest for yourself. Whether it's short breaks during the day or finding opportunities for longer rest, remember that this is not a luxury but a necessity for long-term health, well-being, and effectiveness. It’s an investment in the quality of life for the whole family. It can also set an example for other family members, teaching them a healthy balance between caring for others and caring for themselves.  

2. Try to establish or resume physical activity. Regular exercise improves overall health, increases endurance and strength, reduces stress and anxiety, enhances mood, provides emotional release, and allows for a break from routine duties to focus on your own needs.  

3. Practice yoga or meditation. These practices improve concentration and clarity of thought, help make mindful decisions, and approach problem-solving with balance. They help overcome stress, anxiety, depression, or burnout, provide a temporary escape from daily concerns, improve sleep, and significantly enhance mental health.  

4. Engage in your favorite hobby or any creative activity. This allows you to express emotions that are hard to put into words and serves as a healthy way to manage stress and anxiety. It reminds you of your personal interests and passions. New hobbies stimulate the brain, improve cognitive function, and acquiring new skills or knowledge boosts self-esteem, brings variety, and adds joy to daily life. It’s also a way to relax and shift the focus of conversations beyond caregiving.  

Remember, it is critically important for parents of children with disabilities to take care of their mental health and rest regularly, as this directly affects the quality of care for the child and the overall well-being of the family. Constant stress and emotional exhaustion can lead to serious health problems, strained relationships, and decreased effectiveness in fulfilling parental responsibilities.  
Rest and care for mental health allow you to "recharge," restoring emotional and physical resources necessary for long-term caregiving and maintaining a sense of satisfaction in life.  

This publication was prepared with the financial support of the German Marshall Fund of the United States. Its content is the sole responsibility of the NGO "Epiprosvita" and does not reflect the position of the German Marshall Fund.